| Its been a long time since I last wrote in here. Reading Atisha's xangas have inspired me to write again! Its June, and once again, the seniors are all leaving.  It's the same thing every year I just watch.."goodbye's" and "good lucks" so congrats class of '04. Next year, it's MY turn bwhaha CLASS OF '05 BABBBYYYY! 2 weeks left, i can't believe it...summer is great...i get my license (yay!), anddd my birthday, vacations, late mornings, but the best part is no more homework!
So many things have changed. People change. Circumstances change. But i'm not a constant either. To receive respect, you must give it. To be understood, you must understand. To be loved, you must love. Life is what you make of it, so why not just enjoy it? As time passes by, you learn to appreciate the things you have instead of looking at all the things you don't have. The glass will always be half full.
So here are my thank you's to the people who have had the biggest impact on me:
Thank you Mom and Dad for being my constant pillars of support and encouraging me in every rational decision. Without you, I would be nowhere. You guys have taught me to love myself, to learn from my mistakes, and to find humor in the worst of situations. Nothing is impossible, you have both shown me that with hard work I can really have the world at my fingertips. Not only are you my parents, but you are also two of my best friends. The two people who will always love me for who I am, and the two people I never have to lie to because (not only will I definately get caught!!!but...) you have always been so understanding, You have shown me the world, exposed me to different cultures, introduced me to multiple religions, given me morals, values and ethics, and for that I will love you forever.
Thank you Raheel for being an amazing older brother who has so much to offer in the most modest ways. I have always wanted to follow in your footsteps since my diaper days whether it's wearing your clothes or wanting subs in my car (hehe). Nobody is perfect, and we have both had our equal share of mistakes, but my love for you is unconditional and nobody will ever replace you. Your sense of humor is unmatchable and you are the master of loud burps!! You have given me pride in myself and these past 16 (almosttttt 17) years of my life would be unimaginable without you. Who else would I call when Mom and Dad arent siding with me? Who would I annoy 24/7? Who would wake up in the wee hours of the morning to fix the printer so Adeela The Procrastinator can print her paper? Who else would wait outside with baseball bats and a posse to scare my stalker?! Who else would give me lectures about "being rude"? And who else could care about me in the weird little way that you do?! You are one awesomeeeee brother and no matter how much of an asshole you are or a bitch I am...I love you. (R-E-S-P-E-C-T that is what you mean to meeee...hahaha remember that?!)
Thank you to my gorgeous, smart, strong aunts who I cannot go a day without talking to! All of you have been my inspiration to succeed in life and live everyday to the fullest. From making fun of boyfriends (hahaha) to taking me out for drinks or giving me lectures on the do's and don'ts of life, you are a huge part of my life and who I am today. New York City rendezvous, Boston's cobblestone streets, to the boooooonies of Exton, PA...you guys are the coolest aunts anyone could ever ask for 
To my uncles (haha this should be interesting)...few and rare, yet you ARE my uncles afterall, and most of you are cool...with the exception of one, but hes super mega extra SMART! Haha
To my grandparents, who spoil me rotten, I love you and I still say it the same way I did when i was a toddler. Giving me money, taking me shopping, snacks before dinner, taking me out of time-out, letting me miss school, TV as late as I wanted...you are my heroes. Your compassion and love of life will serve as a constant reminder of who I am and all that you aspire for me to be. I love you all. Even from Heaven, angels watch over me.
What if life only lasted a day,
Do you think we'd appreciate it better?
What if life was like hell,
Do you think we would dream?
About a life like we have now?
What if in life we had everything,
Do you think it would get boring?
Why want another life?
Your life is perfect already |
. The biggest thing that i learned from this weekend is trust...yeh it is tru that it takes a lifetime to build and a second to shatter but whatever happened to giving people chances because they never gave you a reason to not trust them? Its a big issue with everyone, but especially girls for some reason...its like if a guy breaks your trust, you will never trust another guy again the same way..why is that? Why cant we just see that people are different and people do change? Why do one persons actions ruin your trust in someone else? When you put up that wall to protect yourself, youre hurting another person in the process..another person who doesnt deserve to be hurt because of stuff that youve had to deal with in the past...it wasnt their fault, so why punish them? Sometimes you need to learn to appreciate wat you have instead of constantly finding flaws in it...in other words enough of pessimism, time for optimism....
...i just want the weekend to come so i can hang out with my favoriiiiiteeee person in the wholeee wideeee world and 1.5 bottles of rum! 
..OoO TeMpTaTiOnS...you kno wat i dont get? i dont get how all the fat obese fucks go to the gym to "lose weight, get in shape and feel better about themselves"..but all they ever do there is go on the machines where you just sit down and pedal with your feet or something...wats the point of going to the gym then? If your that obese and you realize it then start fucking running instead of just sitting there...i thought that was kinda ironic. 
....i cant focus...i can spend an hour doing my hair an hour at the gym an hour watching tv but for the past 2 weeks i havent even been able to spend half an hour on schoolwork...and the fact that midterms are coming up doesnt help at all.
...i have a hard time writing one good essay in 45 minutes..how do they expect me to write 2 in that time?...i realized something this weekend tho...and that is the fact that i need to be more selective with the guys in my life because i get attatched...and then in the end ill get hurt....its easier said than done to just be like "haha it was a one night thing"..because yeh we can all sit there with a smile on our face and say that but after getting with them so many times...you get attatched and you dont realize at the time but later on you do and you wonder why you didnt see it coming...its soo much easier for guys...their just like "hey its ass wat do i have to lose!"...and honestly no girl can sit there with that same frame of mind because its just not the way we workkk...no matter how hard you try..you cant control the way you feel...its part of being a girl...it took me soo long to see that haha and i couldnt have done it without you cookie!...im sooo happy for you that voicemail just cheered me up even tho im like blahh..confused?? 
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